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Mum's advice and an unforgettable 'Thank you'

This entry to my blog has come as a result of my procrastination coming to an end, at least for the time being. My mother told me something yesterday which got me thinking; she said “you must find a girl before all the good ones are taken”. I didn’t want to sound rhetorical and say ‘good girls’ are becoming extinct over here. To a certain extent there is an ounce of truth in what I say because its challenging to find these girls. I wonder if all the ‘good girls’ have formed a club and are in hiding, away from being visible to guys like us. Since the fasting month ended most Muslims are getting married at a rate. This month alone, I have attended 1 wedding, and 2 more to go both falling on the same day. That’s the calendar as of today, which may likely change in the coming days.

Another friend from school got married last week making the wedding a reunion of sorts because I met some batch mates after nearly 7 years. That wedding was a nice chance to catch up on old times and recall our immature decisions while we were in school. People have moved on to better things and each one is trying to do something with his life.

In my earlier post, I mentioned about this girl I met at a wedding. But after some research, analysis and help from her cousin, things didn’t look like it would work out in my favour. Then I blamed myself for stepping out of my self-imposed policy of not pursuing women. It just doesn’t seem to work out when I actively get involved to get a woman. I did experience a phase where a woman liked me, and even gifted me a tie for my birthday; then to realize one day I have been removed from her Facebook friends’ list. The only thing I could think at that moment was who would do a thing like that?!? It simply goes against a rational thought process existing within all humans. I didn’t go to add her back as a friend, instead minded my own business. I don’t know the reason why she did that to me since I was nice to her throughout, but I suppose these things are better left alone.

Bottom line- I’m attracted to ‘not like other women’ or those slightly beyond my league, and attractive to complex and complicated women.

That previous introspection sums up volumes about my past and current social status. Therefore, I have decided to take a passive stance regarding this topic. No more pursuing, no more showing of interest towards the opposite gender, no more being distracted- but all this is easier said than done!! I just hope things would be easier for me to follow my own policy.

Leaving that aside, I have some good news to state on my community service activities. I was able to recommend 3 students for scholarships to my second home- Malaysia. It was a really tough task finding students who met the criteria. The scholarships were primarily for those who could not afford higher education due to financial constraints. From 46 students who sat for an English placement test 10 were chosen, out of which 3 of them having been nominated by me. I say, compared to the overall selection I have done pretty well to get a sizeable percentage from the final selection. But more has to done in order to help the needy. Also, this year for Zakath Fitra, we managed to distribute the largest amount of packs- 30 in total. We were able to more than double the amount of packs given last year.

I was really touched when one of the boys who got the scholarship came home to thank me. I had never before felt so lifted by a simple “thank you” in my life. I think it was mainly because his gratitude came from the heart, and for me to feel it spread through my soul is the belief of not expecting gratitude for what I did. I firmly believe education with the right kind of exposure can change perceptions, perspectives, attitudes and even a person’s life, as it has mine. It only begs an opportunity to anyone who wants to change their lives; and I want to be that person who will be able to provide that opportunity.

In other news, people have begun to ask me when I will be getting married. This series of questions have been accelerating for some time now, and don’t know for how long I can act a little dodgy. For the time being a coy smile does it with some words like “not yet” or “still working on it”. But don’t you hate it when some people become insistent and want to solve it for you?!?

So, to all the good girls out there, pleases put your hands up!!

Got so many things to say!!

Due to me not blogging for a long time, there are quite a number of things I have to say. Note to self- your level of procrastinating is deplorable, and you should be shot!! There's something about scolding myself which gives me a light boost. I want to be my own critic and over the years it has worked out quite well. It works a bit like this; I review most of the things I do over the week or month and try to come to a conclusion if its what I should've done. Anyway, since I got to say a lot I will do so by giving topics.

Itchy feelings
I had this sore throat and stomach pain; so, went to the doctor as usual and took a prescription. After taking the medicine, next day I started to itch on my back. The itching was like someone pricking you with pins. I didn't pay it much attention and instead used some prickly-heat powder as a temporary solution. It was not helping with the itch and days later I went again to my family doctor. As he read out the drugs given to me before, I realised by the names that something was wrong. I had not got a proper medicine from the pharmacy!! Instead of the correct medicine I had been given a double dose of another drug.

After a blood test (to confirm it wasn't dengue) and another meeting with my doctor (this time taking all my medicine for him to inspect) at which time he called and blasted the pharmacist, I was reassured the itch would "just go away". After that episode, I went to the pharmacy and blasted the pharmacist again, which lead to the manager refunding my money. It was my first act as a disgusted customer that went quite well. My doctor was wrong about the itch, hence I went to consult a dermatologist who game a cream and a soap-free wash. Now, thank God, the itch is not there!!

The plan to jump ship
The account I'm working for is not doing that good in terms of profitability and earnings. Last year, the account ended with a loss and despite it everyone got a 10% increment with a month's bonus. I didn't get all of that because I was still on my 6 month probation. This year too, it looks like we will end with a loss. So much for my upward mobility, huh?!? Its very obvious that promotions would definitely not come my way while in this business unit. The most bewildering thing is, how did managers of my business unit let losses accumulate year after year?! And didn't they see signs of the business going south?

So...the plan is pretty simple really. Wait until I complete a year and then jump to somewhere good. Maybe to another company altogether or to another division of the same company. I have begun to make plans slowly by asking around and trying to get connections of important people for this task. 'What you know' will bring you to some extent in your career, but 'whom you know' can really make it zoom to the top.

A deliberate invitation
I got news from MB that one of out mutual friends were getting married after having returned to SL. I had lost touch with this chap, so I called his house and spoke to him in a 'kinda of' harsh way about not telling me about his wedding. At this stage, I was not expecting to be invited for the wedding. My policy is this- if you invite me I will definitely come; if you don't, then no worries. I think he decided to invite me out of sheer embarrassment in the way I made him feel- period. If not, why on earth would someone post a wedding invitation in SL?! With an unreliable postal service, any man posting a wedding invitation must be off his rocker.

Anyway, putting all that aside, I went for the Nikah (though I got the invite on the eve of the function) and the Waleema. Here's the best part- all of my other friends had been invited for dinner at his house after the nikah and I wasn't. In accordance with my policy I didn't go to the dinner even though my friends told me to come.

It looks like a lot of friends are set to get hitched this year. And also the question of "when is your wedding?" will be asked by a million people, no doubt about that. I just hope I can make it through this year without losing my cool every time someone asks me that.

Malay kahwin (wedding)
I was invited to a wedding of a relative in 5 star style so the whole family attended 'all dressed up'. To me, there was a lot of extravagance in the wedding- a band, liquor (totally haram), professional dancers (Astaghfirullah!!), dancing floor etc. I was sad to see how our Malays were just spending money without knowing its true value. I was invited from the groom's side at the last minute because I think some people cancelled. Yes, its true how pathetic it has become because I get invited only if someone rejects an invite. An 'ouch' type of scenario indeed!!

On the other hand, there were a lot of people I knew at the wedding- aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, work colleagues, guys from my school alumni and blah blah blah. I was introduced a girl by a friend, who was her cousin; and I must say she is quite pretty. I came back home and somewhat did a stalking operation of her on facebook. I know what your thinking, but I couldn't help it. Alas, he profile can be viewed only by friends!! The only upside for me was seeing a lot of women, which was a good change compared to my boring routine. I'm quite keen to find out about this girl since my friend informed that her cousin is single. I wondered if it was possible for women these days to be single?!? Guess I was wrong. My assumption through past experience- every girl you think you like is most likely taken, and to a great extent this has turned out to be true.

Well, I suppose that's it. But let's see how this story develops, and I will call her 'Wedding Girl' (since I met her at a wedding, and obviously can't use her name in my blog). I have not thought of an approach in this regard- whether to be proactive or passive. I just told my friend to put in a good word for me with her cousin, so lets see what happens...

So...what's happening with you?!?

The sentence "what's happening with you?" is making me feel slightly out of my comfort zone all because it deals with your status- hitched, engaged, or going to marry. This is the time where all your friends are jumping on to the marriage wagon, and facebook is flooded with wedding pics. To make things more aggravating my friends parents are asking the same question too, but in this case questions are more probing; its like they want to know the reason why I'm still single. Question mentioned before may use many synonyms, but the intended meaning is the same.

It's the same for MB (Mamma's Boy) as well since his sister will get married end of this year. Last week at his cousins wedding both his uncle and dad had sat with him at the same table talking about marriage for over an hour. It his words that entire hour was "very awkward" because girls or women were never a topic which was discussed before. Every time he meets some relatives they always say without failing "you're next!!" Obviously, MB will get married and have kids even before I even think about marriage. In my case things are not that simple either.

It has been 7 months since I started working, and I have a long way to go. Marriage is a huge commitment and it takes a lot of courage to begin with. At this point in time I'm in no place to take on responsibility of another since my own issues remain unresolved. I know that you cant wait for everything to fall in place to get married. But having a decent paycheck that could support 2 people would surely help. It is like demand being incomplete without the ability to pay for you want.

Other matter is, finding a good girl is so hard these days!! Looks like all the 'good' women are taken. I wonder if there are women out there saying "shit... where have all the good men gone to?" and feeling appalled with the current situation. Wouldn't it be great if those girls and guys like me could meet up?!

I could only wonder...

Bradby 2011- The Shield that was never Royal's

The Royal sports complex was the epicentre of school's rugby today with the Bradby 2nd leg to be played in the evening. Having a front row seat was beyond exciting because its far removed from the congestion experienced in the standing tiers on the other side of the ground. Incidentally, the Bradby was my first match of the season (after this it will be the last) as a live spectator. Previous Royal matches had to be sacrificed due to study commitments with classes falling on weekends.

In a nutshell, nothing went Royal's way which to many was quite hard to handle. Here is a team that beat Trinity in Kandy 2 weeks ago when branded as 'under dogs', not to mention getting off to a flying start from the kickoff. Early in the game Royal fluffed 2 penalty kicks (both within kicking range), which to me was not a good sign. The game plan would be to apply early pressure on the rival team and increase the 8 point lead from the 1st leg. Instead, all I saw was Trinity calling the shots and Royal being more reactive as opposed to playing offensive. Even in offensive play after the 3rd or 4th phase Royal was unable to maintain possession of the ball which stalled momentum considerably. Credit is due to Trinity forwards who kept the Royal forwards in check all the time without giving them any room to break through their defenses. To me, the Trinity captain stood out both in attack and defense; he was able to draw at least 2 defenders every time when engaging the Royal defense. This enabled Trinity to capitalise greatly in having extra men to run the ball. Royal's game plan of playing with their forwards hardly worked in their favour because each time the forwards went for hits they were running into brick walls.

The Trinity three-quarters were a scintillating lot with amazing running displays; every time the backs made a move they were able to punch holes in the Royal defense. Trinity backs had powerful running displays, and were resolute in their defense as well. In the entire match, I would have seen the Royal backs work their line not more than 10 times. And there were moments when the backs had no clue what to do after getting the ball. Better yet, the Royal forwards walk up to line-outs and jump for the ball (and mind you, its something not even the All Black do) without being able to reclaim it. Losing to Trinity in Colombo gives an impression that Royal's victory up in Kandy was a stroke of luck- like Royal were the 'lucky' team that day. The 40-5 margin speaks volumes of how much Trinity has worked towards winning the Bradby after the 32-25 loss 2 weeks prior to this.

I fear the Royal team needs to re-think its strategy in many ways. In all honesty, it was a heart breaking day to be a Royal supporter, but this all part and parcel of life. I hope others won't be too critical in their evaluation of today's match- after all they are still school boys. I refuse to single out any Royal player for not being up to par, since rugby is a team game, and both victory and defeat needs to be absorbed by every player of the team equally. I hope the Royal team will take this defeat constructively and move on, because the league title is still within reach- maybe all is not lost, not yet anyway.

On the brighter side (apart from having to see Royal lose), the stands were packed with people not to mention the female supporters of both schools. Its nice to see ladies coming to watch a rugby match!! I need to get me one of them ladies' (like they are displayed in shops and are up for sale)- LOL! Also, I get a complimentary souvenir since I happened to be a past editor of the Bradby souvenir, not to forget my name being included in it as well. I suppose for me its a consolation end of the day. Hats off to Trinity because they were worthy winners today and I'm sure the entire team is above cloud 9 at this moment.