The next episode

It has been quite sometime since Cupid and I had a little chat. The previous experience –an interview with Cupid- left quite a bit to be desired in the eyes of Cupid. Mention should be made to the rave reviews from my faithful readers. I felt like ‘the man.’ Having said that, we move on another episode with Cupid, and I hope to climb a notch in my ratings.

Cupid arrives rather unsteadily riding a mule teetering to all possible directions. He holds the reins with tightly clenched fists while streams of sweat flow down his brow. Then suddenly Cupid pulls on the reins making the mule to stop abruptly, throwing him off balance, but our ‘spirit’ makes a perfect landing.

I: Pardon me, but why on earth are you riding a mule??

C: Alaaaa.....chill ma!!! (the M’sian angel influence). It’s the global financial crisis, my boy. It’s making me a pauper by the growing day. I’ve come to a stage where I can’t even afford air travel. I had to reduce my staff all over the world, that’s why I had to let Monica Lewinsky -the extra marital affair consultant- leave.

I: Wow, it’s that bad, eh!! I can’t say I blame you.

C: Now, what became of those places you went to visit last time?? Any luck my chap?

I: For one thing, Bangi is just toooooo hot for me. Honestly, I can’t bear the heat coming from that area. It’ll turn me to ashes!!

C: Egad!! Bangi eh?!? Hmmm........I should make a note of it for the future.

I: By the way, did you change your supplier?? I could use some super hi-fi ammo right now.

C: You’re kidding me right?!!? I gave that Chinese dude a piece of my mind, then kicked his little bottom to the moon. Besides that, I’ve been outsourcing all my activities to niche locations, which is costing me a freakin bomb.

I: Mmmmm.......any improvements by doing that?

C: What do you think dum-dum?? Have you made any progress lately, huh? I don’t know where you found this chick, but she’s just ruining my image. Why, just the other day Hitch sent me a text with “so.....you think you’re Cupid?” That one-liner almost made me shoot myself........ metaphorically, of course. I’m too ‘legendary’ to die a suicidal death.

I: Erm.......am I still on course for that scheduled between 28-30 years forecast?

C: Let me see........(takes out his SDA i.e. Spirit Digital Assistant) would you like to......you know, slightly reconsider the time frame?

I: Why?? I think that’s a good range.

C: Apparently all the things you seem to ‘think’ make me look so-not-Cupid. You know......I should refund your fees and be on my way, but my pride keeps me from doing it.

C: Apa laaa bro (again the M’sian influence), couldn’t you like find another poor soul. I’m even going for therapy to figure out if my approach is wrong or not. My BP is spiking to never before levels, and I’m carrying pills to avoid a pending heart attack. Hey.........uhhhhhh........got any tissue???

I: Hey C, calm you nerves man. Here......blow on this; I’ll hold it for you.

(Cupid blows on the tissue like a clogged silencer sputtering smoke)

C: Thanks man, I got to know you are a good listener (Cupid reads my blog too!!!). I’m gonna pull myself together.

C: Anyhow, do you know how this lass looks at the world??

I: I think so.......she sees it in black & white, and with a slight patch of grey too.

C: No kidding!! Make an effort to have more of an audience with her and be a bit proactive for God sake. The way things are going you’d send me to the ‘love’ gallows. Absolute tragedy!!!

C: Well, this has been downright depressing knowing we haven’t made any progress. I hope Aphrodite won’t bring me down in the ratings. If I fall lower than Hitch it’s all because of you mister.

I: Dude, enough with the accusations.......you’re killin me!!! I give you my un-quivering support.

C: Alrighty, let’s see how things go ok. Come on then, help me up this blasted mule because my legs are still numb. Next time, I’m hiring Aladdin’s carpet, at least that won’t hurt my bum.

After getting on the mule Cupid rummages through a sack and extends a lollipop.

C: Sorry old boy, ran out of banana’s so suck on this and think of something sweet. Can you believe Snow White has a huge crush on Pinocchio?? The poor soul can’t deny the truth because of his nose; a classic scenario ya?!? I shall be back (imitating Arnold Schwadzenegzr's accent in Terminator)

With that rhetoric Cupid gallops away, which left me thinking how successful Cupid will be in escaping the heart attack. It’s official........ the world is going to lose Cupid to cardiac arrest.