I daresay this post is much awaited for my blog abundant with weedy virtual cobwebs. A lot has occurred since my previous post, the content of which I can’t recall instantly. It is a good thing that I’m not remotely popular or haven’t got a following. Only a handful of people know, and I can live with it; not to mention none are from the motherland.
First few weeks after my return, full of vigour and enthusiasm (all over again!!), I set about looking for an occupation. Many applications were sent to prospective employers with only a flicker of hope in things working out. All of which I applied for didn’t even get a reply saying I was rejected, that’s to put in a crude way- very sad. A school chum asked if I would like to do an internship at his company, saying well in advance that it would be only for 6 months. I agreed to it and sent my CV, then went for the interview and landed the job. On the up side my company is a multination, one of the biggest in the world, with over 20 brands in its portfolio. Later, after working there a few weeks, it was all too clear why their recruitment is so stringent. This place is set on absorbing only best talents in town- period. I’m not a permanent employee (not do they guarantee that you would ever be one), but just thinking about it gives me shivers because it’s a tall order.
Presently, my mindset is all geared towards learning and sharpening sponge-like tendencies in terms of gaining experience. I’ve realised that any academic degree merely gets you noticed to an extent depending which university it is from. Then comes the part about working experience that leaves me feeling qualification-wise partially naked. Hey, I like being my own critic, since it does wonders in making you face up to reality.
Corporates’ function in a way that can be quite over-whelming for a beginner; it certainly did not spare me. In the words of Charles Darwin, its survival of the fittest, and no one is an exception. Initially, I wondered if my life would be all about work devoid of having any real substance related to living a life that is full. The theory about work-life balance is load of bull-shit!! At the end of it, you have to choose work or life, and that is most certainly a tough call. As for me, who is merely on the tip of an iceberg, much needs to be sought to make that judgement call. So far, working life keeps my mind occupied while constantly thinking of the future.....my future.
Facing tough competition
Our local job seekers are quite unique having been influenced greatly by an outdated and redundant academic system. Of those who sit for A/Level exams only 4 percent are accorded with a university berth- need I say more? The remaining percentages of souls follow foreign degrees along with other professional courses for e.g. CIM, CIMA, ACCA etc. What it means is that I badly need a professional qualification.
Not a good start
On January 2nd, mum fell ill and it was a reoccurrence of a condition we all hoped would not come about, but hoping is not good enough. If I were to describe the sickness, it’s a morphed state of dementia and hallucinations that go back and forth. She believes her life is in danger and some people are out to harm her, then the rest of us; at times she cries....tells us to be careful; suddenly she starts saying things that make no sense; shouts out from the window calling for help- and there’s a lot more.
I can’t bear to see her cry; then again I know it’s the sickness that’s making her cry. It’s nothing short of your beating heart being ripped out from the body. It started way back in 2001, since then this unstable psychological phase occurs in a cycle about 2 years apart. During the time I was abroad it happened once, and reassuring her I was safe took a lot of effort. Mind you, she didn’t believe it was me first time around and insisted she, herself, would dial my mobile number.
Lately, I fear things are taking a turn for the worst. Yesterday, she started to sing something impromptu making up words all on her own, there was another incident she told me to start being a good Muslim. It has not happened before, thus coming colour is not so good. These acts reminded me of my maternal granny who also went through something similar in her latter years. Granny’s condition leaned more towards losing her memory (a form of amnesia) of the present, and beginning to live in the past. Later, she forgot names of people and gradually faces making it harder for everyone to interact with her. In the final stages, she didn’t even know how to clean herself after passing faeces. Contrastingly, mum is living in the present, so I believe there is still hope.
Today, in the afternoon, she suddenly broke down and cried while in the kitchen, later rushing to her room. We asked why she was crying, but she refused to tell. It’s like everything we try to do in her interest ends up a failure. Dad found a tablet under her pillow, which means she has been skipping her medication.
I’m still getting used to many aspects of local life. Merely to say living abroad (in a country more developed than ones own) makes you complacent and quickly erase many difficult experiences of the past. Adapting to such an environment is so easy, although reverting back can be a bitch!!
Finding equilibrium
I don’t know all of this will end. How my mum would be cured of her illness, and I in pursuit of a better job and brighter future; also managing the pressure and expectations of my current job. Striking a balance is a conscientious decision that everyone need to arrive at; if not, life would not have value neither meaning. So, HELP ME GOD!!!