Parental Paranoia

There are some things that just have the ability to shake you up to the core, and one such incident happened to me on Wednesday. That evening after coming home from work my parents said they wanted to talk to me. So, as usual I thought it had something to do with a house matter and casually sat down to talk. Then, dad asked me straight "Do you want to get married?", to which I was speechless for some seconds after which I replied "No".

Apparently, this reaction had taken effect due to a picture of me being printed in a magazine of a Sunday newspaper. In that picture a girl whom I knew had her arm on my shoulder. Just to clarify her arm was on my shoulder and not around it. This occurred a few months back, but looks like its vibrations have only reached me now. In my defense, there was nothing much I could do about the whole thing because it all happened within a matter of seconds. I was invited to an event by her and there she met a friend -working for the Sunday newspaper- who took the picture. It has in some way caused a multiplier effect which is not making me feel at ease.

The situation is getting quite intense over here. Also, I have no intention in staying quiet. It happens that I'm vulnerable to people who want to ensnare me into "compromising situations"- the name given to my newspaper fiasco. I told them in plain English that I couldn't help how others were in their ways, and as far as things go I'm only concerned of myself. I mean, I cant stop people from all the wrong things their doing now, can I? It so happens that mum wants to be careful of "scheming" women, and only God knows what that means.

I can't imagine how women can discriminate and be biased towards other women?!? Its something I'll never figure out.

One thing is clear, that being my mum is not in touch with reality. She said morality should be the same whatever the time period people live in. Although, I would like to agree on that idea its not the reality. Morality is such a skewed idea in this modern day that many people don't know right from wrong. My belief is that she thinks that my character is weak therefore, I might do something stupid or immature. I can't tell her things like I turned down a one-night stand a few years back, or that I'm very cautious most of the time. That would just escalate matters even further!!

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Yesterday, I went to a gathering of Malays in the outskirts of Colombo. I was invited... well, lets just say you have to buy a ticket. While staying in queue for the food I saw this girl who reminded me of the girls in my uni; her attire was such that I made a very fast association. Plus, I was inquisitive to know who it was. Then, lo and behold, after sometime I see her dancing with her friends with many gyrating moves. Being dumbstruck in such a situation is a definite understatement. A girl in a scarf dancing in public is just ironic at any level (this is not being sexist!!), but to add to it her family was watching from a distance.

All I could think was how could her family members approve such a behaviour? A scarf in her sense unfortunately didn't have the desired impact as it should have. It was only a piece of garment worn without knowing its deeper meaning to which I feel sorry for her, and more so her family members. She even did a solo performance on request by the compere which drew many eyes because this time the dance floor was brightly lit compared to before. I'm not saying that I'm better as a Muslim, its just that it was shocking to many people who were there as well.

At times like these, I think a woman without a scarf with better decorum would win in comparison as against this girl wearing the scarf.

End of story...

A Hush-Hush World

My life at present revolves around work and constant thoughts as to how I can rise up the corporate ladder. It's important to absorb aspects that are within your job description while making sure your performance is up to par or above. You realise that throughout all these you deal with people who are very complicated in all aspects, and certainly not rational as theory states.

While returning from lunch with some guys of my team another group were outside the office premises discussing about a work related matter. We were invited to join in the conversation since it involved the entire team. Taking a risky decision is given the Sinhala term "bella thiyanawa" (roughly translated to sticking ones neck out), thus that issue was solved. Then the conversation switched to the demise of a co-worker's relative whose family information/background is a bit sordid. Due to its sensitive nature I have to leave a lot of it out. But I can say this, if ever a local segment of 'The Bold & the Beautiful' were to be made those material would make the list, definitely. The term "girlfriend" is also given women having affairs with married and/or divorced men. Well...the world ain't a rosy place after all. My supervisor got confused with trying to connect the link of a certain relationship, which another had to repeat a few times.

In technical terms I've never had 'real' relationship, because in my opinion a 3 month long-distance affair doesn't count. I also figured out why I have a liking for love stories which are very passionate and full of drama- its because I'm sure to a great extent of not experiencing such a situation. The highlight was breaking it off while on an IM session with the words "its not you, its me", which even to a novice like me was hard to accept. So, after that incident I've steered away from women given the exceptional incident of Ms.X that is now history. Ironically, I was quite angry with how things had turned out that I shut myself off from everything. It was a stupid move on my part, and blame cannot rest solely on her. Amidst all that happening I still managed to make the Dean's List that semester, how about that?!?

Why am I writing about an incident that is dead and buried? Its because I came across all the e-mails we wrote to each other yesterday in an old folder of my inbox while searching for a password. Its still there in that folder which I plan to delete soon as possible. In spite of what happened we still talk to each other, and she is set to get married as per her plan. I happened to be the casualty which would have made her plan not possible; that meant I had to go. Looking back now, I'm relieved of not having to worry about the pressure of an impending marriage coupled with family responsibility.

Guess things and events have a hidden wisdom that is unique to them...

30 Days Past...

It has been a month since I began my new job, which is a completely different field to what I'm used to. Nevertheless, I find it very interesting and in any new thing there lies a learning experience. It gets quite hectic at times with having to meet certain deadlines that make you do long hours, but in comparison to my former job there are many supportive people. In considering group dynamics, my team consists mostly of those speaking Sinhala and fluency of the Queen's language is lacking, but it doesn't matter. They are a lively bunch all the time, full of life, laughter and smiles. I have no problem in terms of interacting with them since my language skills are quite good.

The culture and environment is unique in its own way, not to be outdone by the people who make it so. I'm still a rookie here, so its better to keep a low profile, not to mention having a cousin working in the same company. Only a handful of people know of this fact and I intend to keep it that way. One thing I realised is past Muslims who had been part of the team had not maintained a better precedent for those that would follow suit. Well, let's just stay that most "Muslims" were not so up to the mark as they should have been. Malays don't have a positive image amongst my team either. They think I'm Moor, which made it able to feel the pulse of those around me. I heard stories of Malays they knew who were into boozing, eating pork and every bad thing under the sun. At that point I didn't defend my race because to an extent its all true. Plus, I liked being thought a "Moor" giving me an advantage in trying to pick their brains.

Stereotypes are created easily when a small group of people is judged upon their actions, and then its framed on the entire community. I know its unfair, but what can you do? That's how the world works, sadly. I even had a lame fight with a person regarding this, and I was just dragged into it. I had no idea what all the fuss was about.

From today, emak is in hospital to undergo a minor surgery. It was only 4 days ago that my parents celebrated their 26th wedding anniversary. 26 years is like a major achievement in this modern day when most marriages crumble after a few years. I just hope everything goes well during the surgery, and she gets better soon.

I must also make effort to blog often, because its one of my ways to let things out. As times goes things would obviously become more hectic, complex and complicated. I just hope God will give me strength to carry on through all the trials ahead.