A commuter’s training schedule

Many things come to mind when one ponders and goes back in time about the many experiences encountered while patronizing the subway. More often than not, those memories are seldom anything that can put a smile on your face. It makes me shrug and shake my head most of the time.

Having been a regular commuter for the past 2 months, I’m now ready to throw in the towel and call it a day. I can’t bear it when the recording goes “next station…..” It didn’t take long to memorise all the stops along the way, that’s for sure. Writing up a commuter training schedule at the inception is a very tedious & arduous thing to do, especially for a beginner. A beginner is oblivious to the many trials and hurdles that maybe thrown into his/her path. It requires a lot of commuting on a daily basis. This way you soak up a lot of things, which can be good, bad and not forgetting the ugly.

It is paramount that a person considering daily travel in the subway takes up special training in order to adapt to life inside the train. Inside the train can be defined as: “the wrong place at the wrong time can be detrimental.” Firstly, everyone should undergo a course in ‘contortionist 101’, which deals with adjusting ones posture to the given situation. It comprises bending, arching, twisting, balancing and many other routines; ultimately achieving a state of bodily divinity. It will come of use beyond any shadow of doubt. As the laws of physics are applied on the body, there are two choices. Either you fight it or give in to it. Since the former choice is being held in high regard the course will do wonders.

Secondly, rugby skills can be incorporated, which teach shoving and repelling a forward charge. Methodology and application of this technique will vary from those who are big made from those who aren’t. This is crucial if a commuter is stranded near the door at the time of embarkation. At moments like this holding on to ones patch of rubbery flooring is of the essence. Toughening up the body, conditioning muscles as well as impact absorption are infused into the curriculum. Being tough physically will enable a commuter to withstand a long commute and still have energy after disembarkation. We don’t want them to fall like flies now, do we??

We are not done yet!!! Culminating the training is a couple of tips on hygiene. Tall people should be told to wear deodorant since someone obviously will be under there armpit. Coughing, sneezing, grunts and any other sounds should be controlled as best. Farting in the train is taboo under any circumstances (applies to office hours only). Further modifications to the training will be notified in due course.

Sleeping Beauty

First of all this is not about that fairy tale everyone has heard about. This is the unorthodox version of sleeping beauty. A practical application to the topic would be come off as more apt.

Every morning, as in my daily routine, I travel by train/part subway whatever you might call it. So far, I have not sat during my morning travels because there aren’t any available seats. Most of the time there aren’t any seats in the evening when I return either. Especially, during the mornings I see a lot of women dozing off at their seats, some even while standing. Talk about a new breed of women!!?? Ever since that time, I have always taken an interest to see how many women fall asleep while in the train. I found out there are quite a few. The reasons are simply beyond me.

Maybe it’s the stress at work or just plain old fatigue. But whatever it may be, the image becomes a bit awry after sometime. Honestly in my opinion the local women are smarter than men in most departments. Whether it may be academics, clothes etc. Why?? That is a question only God can answer. In my view, a woman dozing off comes as a mixed opportunity. Should I look/stare or should I not?? Of course, this depends on the woman’s likeability factor. Thus far it has been quite an enjoyable ride.

Living life… one day at a time

I just read from a newspaper website today that a bomb had gone off near my area. Actually, it was near the railway station a few kilometers away from my house. But still, the thought and scare lingers in my body constantly. I just feel helpless every time news of a bombing reaches my ears, worse still, when the numbers of fatalities are reported. Only thought in my mind at that point is “when will all this killing end??”

A bombing has become part of the Sri Lankan lifestyle in the 20 or so years of war. You hear from one end and let it go from the other -after assessing if a loved one is affected. A person leaving the house in the morning is not guaranteed a safe return by evening. Such is the gravity of the situation that the people face. Everyone has been affected by a bombing directly or indirectly. That is something most of the people have in common.

I remember, when I was six years old in school one day, a bomb went off near it. It was targeted at a politician who happened to be going by that route. Unfortunately, the detonation took place near grade 2 (further from my classroom of grade 1), leaving some students permanently deaf. During the many years to follow, I have witnessed a few of my friends lose their loved ones, both immediate and extended family. I have also lost a couple of uncles too. A few years back my father missed a bomb by a mere 10 minutes. Its times like these one turns to God in praise and full of gratitude.

The human cost of this war has been phenomenal and very staggering. Generations are sacrificing in many ways, but the utmost by laying down their lives for the territorial integrity of my motherland. To them all of us owe a debt of gratitude, which cannot be repaid in any small manner. Neither can it be summed up with a few eloquent words on a paper article. My eyes become teary thinking of all the good men and women who have become prey to this dim-witted and baseless war, preying on the innocence of the common man.

But I will say this, “not an inch, none whatsoever shall we give up from our motherland.”