Independence............really!?!

If I ask, if you are really independent, what answer would you give me?? A resounding "yes" or a half-hearted "I think so?" I've been pondering this idea for a long time; since the time I came to Malaysia. To me, independence is a state of mind and not something a person can grasp physically or in any other manner. Many people start talking about independence close to celebrating a country's independence from foreign rule. As a former British colony I'm very much aware of the propaganda. Even after gaining independence, are you in the sense of the word, independent?? If I had to answer the question, the answer would be "no."

Look at it this way, we are all dependent on someone for something. Ultimately, all religious and pious people of all faiths depend on God. So, independence is like a myth; it sounds really breathtaking, but it's not real. The world now is far interdependent on countries than it ever was during the colonial era. It's very evident from analysing the global financial crisis that almost crashed economies (not to mention giving me a sour deal as a graduate). I want to be independent as in be free from all that is superficial: materialism, consumerism (telling people to buy all sorts of products to that will make you feel good), extremist dogma, stereotyping etc. I'm disgusted and fed up with all these nonsense.

The holy month is going well with all the activities that is to be done in this month taking precedence over others. But for the life of me I can't understand why some people are so hypocritical even in the holiest of months. I was seated in the economics canteen last night and noticed a banner with the words 'This is a dating free zone', after that it was 'Allah is watching you.' What made me laugh was a couple surfing right in front of the banner. I'm not blaming the couple because dating has been going on for ages, and it's not like the authorities are worried about it. It irked me more because people who made the banner were also student of university registered club. A perfect situation of blind leading the blind!!

I will say this though, those contributing negatively (apparently some refer to it as the 'garden of hypocrisy and fallacy') towards the 'garden' have no right in referring to it in such a way. Wouldn't it be funny to you if Hitler had stated somewhere denying responsibility for killing the Jews?? Or like Bush saying the prisoners in Guantanamo were well looked after?!?

Tsk....tsk.....only God knows best.

Tick-tock......tick-tock

Last week things took a huge turn, first for the better, then almost for the worse. After going to work for 2 days I came under a heavy headache that later morphed into fever by the next morning. H1N1 being very rampant, I called in sick and went to clinic. While on my way I began to wonder if they would treat someone who is no longer a student (I had done clearance already!!)?? My body started to ache and everything felt abnormally heavy, even my footsteps!! After an examination by the doctor, not to mention medical leave for 5 days, I was ordered to rest and keep away from people. Only last Friday did I realise that I'm going to be a painful recipient of a tooth at the end of my left jaw. Wisdom has not been this painful, I swear. A pat on the back goes to Miss. Psychic for sending me the symptoms of H1N1 at a time when I was fearing the worst. I can only eat from my right side, even then I can't move my jaw as before. Poor me :(

As far as my job goes, there is not much of action going on in the office. Who am I kidding because it only has about 7 people. My first assignment was to draft a Ramadhan appeal brochure in English, which will be distributed for collecting funds. Plan is to disburse all these funds to needy Muslims around the world. I came across a few old photo albums that spoke a lot in terms of images. Bosnia, Afghanistan, Cambodia and a lot of countries were filled inside my brain; people, faces, places seemed to leap out from the album pages. I can't imagine how it must have been to provide relief when on one side there is danger to ones life. I'm very content for the time being as to what I do because there is clarity and comprehension of tasks.

Since the past 2 months I have developed a hate mixed with disgust towards the university hostel administration. Requesting for an extension of stay was entertained in such a way that they wanted my friends and I shift to another location far away and share a cubicle too!! I mean its just utter bullshit. We declined the idea and in the process got a 'transit' room, the condition is nothing short of deplorable. We would have happily paid for our old room, but these idiots said it's not possible. Why is it that I have to deal with so much shit and dumbass people?? I have more to write about my garden of higher learning in due time that will shock many people. Thus, my mates are very actively hunting for a place to rent. Most likely, it seems that moving to a new place would occur during the fasting month whether we like it or not.

Steady steps.....

As I complete month of working life (working full-time in the guise of part-time), working is nescafe has become a thing of the past. This week onwards I've started working for a NGO focusing on micro-credit and educational programmes. Most of its operations are in foreign countries, but the important thing is that I got a decent job. When I was working in nescafe I was under-employed, while at present I'm under-paid. I don't to make it a big issue because I hope things would get better soon. One thing I've realised is that not all people get that dream job they've been wishing for. Rather, people make due with what they have, or hope for better days to come.

I have satisfaction in my job, even though I'm under-paid, and that is being able to help people in need. The NGO I work for is operating a micro-credit scheme in Acheh for some years, and they also plan to open an office in Egypt to help the people of Palestine. Apart from all this, the NGO would help Muslims anywhere in the world in times of strife and hardship.

There are some nescafe moments I would like to share:

The are-you-kidding-me moment:
An international girl walks up to the counter; she was surveying what we have to offer, and mind you it was not her first time either. While I let her do that, I went to take the order of another person. Then I came back to take her order.

Girl- ummm.....do you guys like have latte’s and stuff over here?? (spoken with a really fake accent)
I- well, not really. You see...... this not starbucks!!! Why not try and go there? (yes sir, I dropped it like its hot)

Taking egoistic shit was not part of my job description.

The LOL moment:
Two guys walked up to the fridge, at that moment I was operating the coffee machine on the other corner. After I was done, I went to the counter in order to total up what these two had bought. One of them had taken a Coke can, while his friend placed a cucumber next to it. Yes, a freakin’ CUCUMBER!!! This chap wanted to buy a cucumber that we use in our sandwiches, which we keep in a separate fridge.

For a moment, I could hardly contain my laughter and tried desperately not to laugh in his face. This has been the best moment so far on the job. I tried my level best to make him understand that the cucumbers were not for sale. Few minutes later, he pointed to an old label on the cucumber shelf that had RM. 1.70 on it. That guy must be real stupid to buy a cucumber for that price. He was a bit persistent if you ask me because even after that he didn’t give up; he tried to sweet talk me into selling the damn cucumber.

The heartbreak moment:

An Indian friend of mine came to nescafe and before I could take his order blurted out "dude.... what the hell are you doing here?!!? I heard you're really good and even have a department ranking!!"

At that moment I felt my heart being squeezed like it was going to stop beating. That really made me go "ouch" inside and I kept on hearing his words over and over again.

The Ms. X moment:

Look who dropped by nescafe one early morning with some her friends. She asked what I was doing in the shop, a very obvious question which I pointed out later (why do people ask that question anyway??). I told her that working in nescafe is only until and find something better to which she said "a proper job." Talk about rubbing it in folks...... and I wondered where all the sympathy went to?!!?