Got so many things to say!!

Due to me not blogging for a long time, there are quite a number of things I have to say. Note to self- your level of procrastinating is deplorable, and you should be shot!! There's something about scolding myself which gives me a light boost. I want to be my own critic and over the years it has worked out quite well. It works a bit like this; I review most of the things I do over the week or month and try to come to a conclusion if its what I should've done. Anyway, since I got to say a lot I will do so by giving topics.

Itchy feelings
I had this sore throat and stomach pain; so, went to the doctor as usual and took a prescription. After taking the medicine, next day I started to itch on my back. The itching was like someone pricking you with pins. I didn't pay it much attention and instead used some prickly-heat powder as a temporary solution. It was not helping with the itch and days later I went again to my family doctor. As he read out the drugs given to me before, I realised by the names that something was wrong. I had not got a proper medicine from the pharmacy!! Instead of the correct medicine I had been given a double dose of another drug.

After a blood test (to confirm it wasn't dengue) and another meeting with my doctor (this time taking all my medicine for him to inspect) at which time he called and blasted the pharmacist, I was reassured the itch would "just go away". After that episode, I went to the pharmacy and blasted the pharmacist again, which lead to the manager refunding my money. It was my first act as a disgusted customer that went quite well. My doctor was wrong about the itch, hence I went to consult a dermatologist who game a cream and a soap-free wash. Now, thank God, the itch is not there!!

The plan to jump ship
The account I'm working for is not doing that good in terms of profitability and earnings. Last year, the account ended with a loss and despite it everyone got a 10% increment with a month's bonus. I didn't get all of that because I was still on my 6 month probation. This year too, it looks like we will end with a loss. So much for my upward mobility, huh?!? Its very obvious that promotions would definitely not come my way while in this business unit. The most bewildering thing is, how did managers of my business unit let losses accumulate year after year?! And didn't they see signs of the business going south?

So...the plan is pretty simple really. Wait until I complete a year and then jump to somewhere good. Maybe to another company altogether or to another division of the same company. I have begun to make plans slowly by asking around and trying to get connections of important people for this task. 'What you know' will bring you to some extent in your career, but 'whom you know' can really make it zoom to the top.

A deliberate invitation
I got news from MB that one of out mutual friends were getting married after having returned to SL. I had lost touch with this chap, so I called his house and spoke to him in a 'kinda of' harsh way about not telling me about his wedding. At this stage, I was not expecting to be invited for the wedding. My policy is this- if you invite me I will definitely come; if you don't, then no worries. I think he decided to invite me out of sheer embarrassment in the way I made him feel- period. If not, why on earth would someone post a wedding invitation in SL?! With an unreliable postal service, any man posting a wedding invitation must be off his rocker.

Anyway, putting all that aside, I went for the Nikah (though I got the invite on the eve of the function) and the Waleema. Here's the best part- all of my other friends had been invited for dinner at his house after the nikah and I wasn't. In accordance with my policy I didn't go to the dinner even though my friends told me to come.

It looks like a lot of friends are set to get hitched this year. And also the question of "when is your wedding?" will be asked by a million people, no doubt about that. I just hope I can make it through this year without losing my cool every time someone asks me that.

Malay kahwin (wedding)
I was invited to a wedding of a relative in 5 star style so the whole family attended 'all dressed up'. To me, there was a lot of extravagance in the wedding- a band, liquor (totally haram), professional dancers (Astaghfirullah!!), dancing floor etc. I was sad to see how our Malays were just spending money without knowing its true value. I was invited from the groom's side at the last minute because I think some people cancelled. Yes, its true how pathetic it has become because I get invited only if someone rejects an invite. An 'ouch' type of scenario indeed!!

On the other hand, there were a lot of people I knew at the wedding- aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, work colleagues, guys from my school alumni and blah blah blah. I was introduced a girl by a friend, who was her cousin; and I must say she is quite pretty. I came back home and somewhat did a stalking operation of her on facebook. I know what your thinking, but I couldn't help it. Alas, he profile can be viewed only by friends!! The only upside for me was seeing a lot of women, which was a good change compared to my boring routine. I'm quite keen to find out about this girl since my friend informed that her cousin is single. I wondered if it was possible for women these days to be single?!? Guess I was wrong. My assumption through past experience- every girl you think you like is most likely taken, and to a great extent this has turned out to be true.

Well, I suppose that's it. But let's see how this story develops, and I will call her 'Wedding Girl' (since I met her at a wedding, and obviously can't use her name in my blog). I have not thought of an approach in this regard- whether to be proactive or passive. I just told my friend to put in a good word for me with her cousin, so lets see what happens...

So...what's happening with you?!?

The sentence "what's happening with you?" is making me feel slightly out of my comfort zone all because it deals with your status- hitched, engaged, or going to marry. This is the time where all your friends are jumping on to the marriage wagon, and facebook is flooded with wedding pics. To make things more aggravating my friends parents are asking the same question too, but in this case questions are more probing; its like they want to know the reason why I'm still single. Question mentioned before may use many synonyms, but the intended meaning is the same.

It's the same for MB (Mamma's Boy) as well since his sister will get married end of this year. Last week at his cousins wedding both his uncle and dad had sat with him at the same table talking about marriage for over an hour. It his words that entire hour was "very awkward" because girls or women were never a topic which was discussed before. Every time he meets some relatives they always say without failing "you're next!!" Obviously, MB will get married and have kids even before I even think about marriage. In my case things are not that simple either.

It has been 7 months since I started working, and I have a long way to go. Marriage is a huge commitment and it takes a lot of courage to begin with. At this point in time I'm in no place to take on responsibility of another since my own issues remain unresolved. I know that you cant wait for everything to fall in place to get married. But having a decent paycheck that could support 2 people would surely help. It is like demand being incomplete without the ability to pay for you want.

Other matter is, finding a good girl is so hard these days!! Looks like all the 'good' women are taken. I wonder if there are women out there saying "shit... where have all the good men gone to?" and feeling appalled with the current situation. Wouldn't it be great if those girls and guys like me could meet up?!

I could only wonder...

Self-absorbing Bus Rides & Elusiveness of Time

Last week was quite eventful and not to mention very remorseful to me. One incident being a friend's brother dying in a high speed car crash while driving at 170 kmph along with 5 others on a windy road. This happened while going down south, and I'm told the driver and everyone else were under the influence of alcohol. Ripping at such lightening speeds the driver missed a turn and rammed right into a coconut tree which snapped in two on impact, and after that the car landed in a stream nearby. It had taken area residents about 45 min to get all the people out of the car; by looking at photos of the car it was totally smashed. The car was a brand new Benz S350 owned by the driver who happened to have a rich businessman dad. It was a sad state of affairs, but every action has its own equal and opposite reaction.

Last Saturday while having a small bite to eat near a road side shop before classes I noticed a couple under a shady tree having a carefree time. The shop I was in is near the beach situated on Marine Drive -a stretch of coastal road connecting a few important areas of Colombo, and famous for reckless driving- with a satisfactory view of the sea. If you cross the railway tracks the beach is only a few feet away. While munching on my snacks I observed (something I do very well) the behaviour and body language of the couple coming to a conclusion that both were in their own world oblivious to everything around them. At the same time I wondered what could they be talking about for such a long time?? And how do you sustain such a scenario? I guess I would never understand it until I'm in that situation too. The more I think relationship's are not for me, the more external factors seem to reinforce that theory!!

On a physical note, my right wrist is giving me some serious pain due to some strained veins. I have nothing else but to thank my office computer and mouse for this. I wonder if there are other factors to this also?! Basically, I cant rest my hand on a flat surface because the veins running near my wrist start to pain. The pain travels up my arm a little and dies away naturally, but the initial pain is somewhat unbearable. It's also the same when I write something. Under doctor's orders I've been told to wear a wrist guard accompanied by a gel I have to apply before wearing it. I just hope it gets better soon since my gym sessions are affected by this; not going to gym is a precaution I'm taking because the risks and consequences will be greater if there's an injury.

Going in the bus is quite enjoyable in the sense that you get to think and ponder about different things. I wish I had a car but since don't its better to enjoy what I already have. Plus, you get to see a wide cross-section of society in the many buses. I just look and observe at the various people in the bus and what they do; to me it's interesting in a quirky way.

So... there you are, at the moment I'm into observing people. Weird right?!?

Collage Thoughts

There I was on a Friday evening after work with some colleagues around a table having a few drinks (in my case it was non-alcoholic). Work is starting to grow on me and the team is opening up to me gradually. I like this bunch of people, who are very informal even in formal settings. I might have to rethink my office policy on keeping things plainly official; because most things in life are shades of grey. The best in all of this is the bonding you get with your team, and its a good thing mine is quite small. My team is a total of 13 people (nothing unlucky about it) out of which 7 were accounted for around the table, which constitutes a majority.

I heard stories about how things were done about 5 years earlier, the hardships they went through, what's going wrong at office now, and so much more. But I must say this, though on the outside these chaps may not look suave, posh or even classy, they all have good hearts and intentions. It was evident from the way they spoke. I feel like I've found a team who will stick it out through thick and thin- come what may!! And I in turn plan not to disappoint and live up to expectations.

It seems that all of my friends are getting hitched one after the other like a chain of dominoes. Just a few weeks back I spoke to a friend who returned from abroad in order to start back home. During the conversation I joked about how he should get married soon; lo and behold he's getting engaged this Sunday. A string of others are planning to follow suit very soon. When I heard the news I was very happy for the chap who said "I was not expecting to get married either, but everything seemed to fit". I wonder how you arrive at the correct "fit"?

Its funny because first thing I told him after hearing the engagement was- "you bastard!!" It was slightly rhetorical and mostly a great deal of astonishment and slight shock. I mean, it was like a bolt of lightening- good think it doesn't strike the same place twice!! Finding someone is definitely a blessing, and for those who have I say "well done". Not to sound pessimistic, but this thought always comes to my mind- 'would I find that person who's the correct fit'? To start with, I don't even want to even start thinking about this because it has too many variables. At the moment, its best that I focus solely on my career, but even that's easier said than done.

Going down memory lane, my last highly emotional moment occurred at KL Sentral before coming home for good. I still remember that day to a great deal. Its like I wished to stall time much as I pleased, and like that was so realistic. By the end of it, I rushed to the washroom to wash my face because it was not going to act according to my rational thought process. Plus, I didn't want people to see me with near teary eyes, which looks weird on any man. Since that day I have grown slightly wiser in my approach; promising that I would never allow myself to end up in a situation such as this ever again.

I'm mature enough to understand that behind every action or occurrence there lies a fundamental reason or rationale. Its just that at times everything is so blurred that you can hardly see anything clearly.

I have so much to write, and why on earth is the time flying so fast!!

To my friend Z- I wish you a happy and beautiful married life, and may Allah bless you!!

Parental Paranoia

There are some things that just have the ability to shake you up to the core, and one such incident happened to me on Wednesday. That evening after coming home from work my parents said they wanted to talk to me. So, as usual I thought it had something to do with a house matter and casually sat down to talk. Then, dad asked me straight "Do you want to get married?", to which I was speechless for some seconds after which I replied "No".

Apparently, this reaction had taken effect due to a picture of me being printed in a magazine of a Sunday newspaper. In that picture a girl whom I knew had her arm on my shoulder. Just to clarify her arm was on my shoulder and not around it. This occurred a few months back, but looks like its vibrations have only reached me now. In my defense, there was nothing much I could do about the whole thing because it all happened within a matter of seconds. I was invited to an event by her and there she met a friend -working for the Sunday newspaper- who took the picture. It has in some way caused a multiplier effect which is not making me feel at ease.

The situation is getting quite intense over here. Also, I have no intention in staying quiet. It happens that I'm vulnerable to people who want to ensnare me into "compromising situations"- the name given to my newspaper fiasco. I told them in plain English that I couldn't help how others were in their ways, and as far as things go I'm only concerned of myself. I mean, I cant stop people from all the wrong things their doing now, can I? It so happens that mum wants to be careful of "scheming" women, and only God knows what that means.

I can't imagine how women can discriminate and be biased towards other women?!? Its something I'll never figure out.

One thing is clear, that being my mum is not in touch with reality. She said morality should be the same whatever the time period people live in. Although, I would like to agree on that idea its not the reality. Morality is such a skewed idea in this modern day that many people don't know right from wrong. My belief is that she thinks that my character is weak therefore, I might do something stupid or immature. I can't tell her things like I turned down a one-night stand a few years back, or that I'm very cautious most of the time. That would just escalate matters even further!!

**************

Yesterday, I went to a gathering of Malays in the outskirts of Colombo. I was invited... well, lets just say you have to buy a ticket. While staying in queue for the food I saw this girl who reminded me of the girls in my uni; her attire was such that I made a very fast association. Plus, I was inquisitive to know who it was. Then, lo and behold, after sometime I see her dancing with her friends with many gyrating moves. Being dumbstruck in such a situation is a definite understatement. A girl in a scarf dancing in public is just ironic at any level (this is not being sexist!!), but to add to it her family was watching from a distance.

All I could think was how could her family members approve such a behaviour? A scarf in her sense unfortunately didn't have the desired impact as it should have. It was only a piece of garment worn without knowing its deeper meaning to which I feel sorry for her, and more so her family members. She even did a solo performance on request by the compere which drew many eyes because this time the dance floor was brightly lit compared to before. I'm not saying that I'm better as a Muslim, its just that it was shocking to many people who were there as well.

At times like these, I think a woman without a scarf with better decorum would win in comparison as against this girl wearing the scarf.

End of story...

Mr. Singleton

Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or Bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
~Shakespeare~

Last week I got to know that a friend of mine had called off his engagement, which was not shock by all his facebook updates I've been seeing. Prior to this news I met him at a funeral, and casually asked if he was ok to which he nodded his head. When a good friend of mine (lets call him D) confirmed the news the only thing that came to my mind was- thank God I'm single. As selfish and insensitive as it may sound, I couldn't think of having to deal with such a state, pick yourself up from it, and start over. That.... no doubt is a shitty deal!!

Don't get me wrong because I'm not against relationships, rather I'm for it, but with incidents such as these you tend to be wary of the pitfalls as well. Take me, the staunch 'relationship' supporter and counsellor of my mates, who encourages them to go for it. I've been there for MB during his difficult times, and made sure he got over the hurt and anger, not to mention the deception. Then I've lent my ear to many, listening to their issues and giving my honest opinion. Last week a friend (lets call him H) got into a relationship, and soon after it was sealed he told me the news. I was happy for him, as I'm always when any of my mates get hitched. Then he told me how this girl is everything he wanted and didn't want to lose her, that too, knowing he would have go abroad next year. I asked him if he thought she was worth all the effort and sacrifice to which he agreed. Then I said if that's the case, give it everything you've got since you've got nothing to lose.

By analysing my behaviour -a trait which I'm really good at- I've realised I ooze of optimism concerning my friends and their relationships, but not of mine. I give others motivational speeches while I'm easily pacified in my pursuits. It's not because I lack the courage or confidence, rather I factor in too many variables which impedes my goal. All that has never put me down in the dumps; I took it all good stead never whining, or cursing things I thought may have had a hand in my misfortunes. At times, the way I think even puzzles me- not kidding!! I seem to have created a whole new being, another behavioural pattern as a man who is risk averse to these issues. Applying the economic theory of 'high risk- high return' will not make things better. Or will it?!!?

Start of this year D and I met for a chat after ages because most of the time I had been abroad. D, being a Christian eats pork, but apart from it I swear to God he would be a better Muslim in comparison to some I know. We -D and I- are tuned to the same wavelength, so is MB though D and MB have never met. I've known D for a long time, him being a school mate, we have a lot in common; one of it, is the gentleman code. We devised it ourselves thinking to set a standard for our conduct in this mad and lawless relationship jungle. The calibre of it is so high that its assured we would never go astray. Some points in the code:

• Never take another's lady at whatever the cost because its not honourable.
  
• If the lady is already in a relationship, you shall not profess of your feelings to her; its not ethical (it means we'll not be doing a movie skit to get a girl).
• If the lady is single, meaning unattached.. go for it. (D extends it to ex'es of other guys who he knows, and I kinda agree. Who wants to be compared?)
• Treat ladies' with respect, but let them not take it for granted or exploit the courtesy.
  
• No adultery, or anything unlawful decreed by divine law.

Basically, we're overly high-strung on chivalry for the 21 Century. During that conversation D confided how awry the local scene has become, and wondered if relationships at all were worth it. I did agree to some of what he had to say from my own experience.... and towards the end he told me something very startling; he said "I know this may sound as a surprise, but I haven't discounted a life of being single. I know I'll be a bloody lonely bugger...but I think I can handle it." At that time I dismissed his remarks as nonsense, told him to get over it (it was the optimistic me). Now... even I think he has some point. I do admit that at times I'm drawn to women and think how a relationship will turn out to be... alas, it lasts only minutes.

As the saying goes 'good guys finish last', so far it seems to be true. Even a girl tagged me on a post she published on facebook by the same title. I have no doubt that it shows, and very clearly too. For the moment I'm satisfied by comments from ladies' like "you're sweet", or "such a sweetheart" which gives a psychological smile.

Closure

While chatting online to a recent acquaintance (I'll call her Ms. H) about Ms. X, I realised that I hadn't buried that chapter forever. So, this is going to be the end as far as my blog is concerned. I think that is a befitting end as any. I told Ms. H a few details but there was more; chatting on facebook is not an ideal way to carry out a conversation, if you know what I mean.

Eve of November 13 last year, I was getting ready to leave M'sia not knowing when I'd return. Circumstance were such that I didn't know if I ever would. There were no unfinished business except this- telling Ms. X that she was the one I liked. Debates raged inside of me if I should profess my affection, or hold my tongue and just leave. I let this question rage in my mind while carrying on with my packing, making sure not to leave anything behind. At the same time still-images of the times gone by kept flashing in my mind, it was like a film without a director. By midnight all had been done, all that was left was to get into a car and go to airport.

Then I decided- I'm going to say it, and come what may!!! Therefore, I most carefully typed out a sms and sent it to Ms. X in the wee hours of November 14. It read:
"Dear Ms. X, seeing you on Thursday was a vision. I had a pleasant time secretly wishing it not to end. If only time could be paused!! I have much to say but time was my enemy like always. A part of me feels hollow, dark and full of regret. The caverns of my heart are full of words but lack the outlets to let them out. If only things were different eh?!? God bless you always for a happy life. Feeamanillah and take care :)"

After that sms I felt my heart ease from a great burden. I also figured that she would be asleep and by the time she saw it I would be in Lanka. To my surprise she replied: "Salam Loner, you're talking funny!! If this is the effect of leaving Malaysia, I'm glad my country's made that kind of impact :) You have a safe flight and take care!!"

After reading this I had a feeling that she was mocking me. I mean, is it not obvious from my first sms that she understands that I like her? For a woman who got a first-class in law this was simply unacceptable; she even took 26 min to reply!! Having said that, it wasn't like I was expecting anything of a reply either. In the end, she having replied I was hardly satisfied with it.

Thus, I sent another reply:
"You're awake at this time!! Talking funny is not the effect of Malaysia rather your impact on me. Its rather complicated to explain through sms'. But I'm sure you're an intellectual woman who can piece it all together, or then again you can just choose to ignore it. I don't wish to change a thing!! Get some sleep X tomorrows another day."

Thereafter, no more sms' and I just went on my way. I, on purpose referred to her as X (the name used in my blog, which she used to read) so it may be clear as day. In the end, I think she got it!! And its just that she was not going to accept that a guy had told her of his feelings. Her friends, whom gave me wise counsel were right and I cherish their honesty for not filling me with false hope. Indeed, they knew my intentions as honourable and so they stood by me til the end. So, to Ms. Angel, Ms. Psychic, Ms. Hot and Ms. Model I say- thank you.

I think this entry should end with that song I kept playing many times over during those days. Let that song too be a part of my past too.

Time to blow out the candle

It’s very natural that whatever is started should see its end. This principle applies to almost anything, thus being universal. Man is born and eventually dies, and so the cycle goes on. In my best interest I have decided to end something that started about a year ago.

I saw a woman who caught my attention at first sight. She was to me, a woman like none other. The occasion was to celebrate someone’s 'special' day and she happened to be attending. Since that day I have not been able to forget her. A vision indeed!! But as always, in my case nothing goes according to plan. I called her Ms. X to protect her identity and also from being teased. What can I say; I’m quite the thoughtful type.

The hardest part is not giving up, or whining about the situation, but accepting reality as it is. I believe that I’m quite good at it. I can take high dose of hurtful reality without a second thought. It must be how I have conditioned myself. Yippee, for me!! All of my major decisions so far in any aspect have been evaluated numerous times by my cognitive senses. So far my heart has not overridden my mind. I wonder if it ever will??

After this, the chase stops and every other thing with it. Neither will I pursue any matter related to this topic. It’s not because of the lack in interest, but more about expending effort for such an endeavour. I think that effort is best utilised for matters of higher priority. Higher priority as in putting my family first along with matters concerning them, and I come second. While it lasted, there were highs and lows, satisfaction and frustration, infatuation and now, the end.

Like the bard had said “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” All I can say is that I didn’t lose, but merely carrying on with the hope of hoping to love someday.

Moving on

Adieu, my fair lady; time has come to part
Time spent with thee was indeed memorable
I'm letting the thought of you leave me- completely!!
Hence, I have no other option, but to move on

Indeed, 'twas a pleasure knowing you
Listening to all your opinions and points of view
Thou art a 'stimulating' woman, in personality and character
Alas, an illusion is an element quite vain for me to hold on

I'm thankful for a serendipitous encounter when we first met
You were asking people to sign a banner against apostacy
Then 3 years later, there you were right in front of me
On that day, I tried so hard not to stare, and every time hence

At first, I was in denial about liking you
I tried to chuck it all away, but failed miserably
As time passed, I was drawn to you more, so hopelessly
But your manner of denial I've never heard nor seen before

I know you like Norah Jones, and can listen to her all day
Then Faulkner, Harper, Johnson and "maybe" Mayer
I think your 'virtual' diary speaks volumes of you
Its too bad 'time' was not on my side to know more

It's a pity that my subtle hints were of no use
How I wish they were untrue; tell me you lied!!!
And I was not after someone else in the "council"
My dear it was YOU, too bad you couldn't see it

I could have come and professed my intentions to you
But I was told, it would cause you much worry and anxiety
I know you aren't strong enough to handle it, that's too bad
It's the sole reason that held me back, like a bloody mute

Even if I talk-the-talk, I can't walk-the-walk; so helpless I seem
There are so many things that take precedence before me
I'm all too familiar with things not going in my way
All I can do is leave it to God, and be on my way

I wish you the very best in life and in everything you do
You're a lady who is gorgeous in every way- truly!!
You're Ms. X and in time your traces will wither away
In the end, I wish to be set free of thy aura forever

Adieu my fair lady..........adieu!!

The next episode

It has been quite sometime since Cupid and I had a little chat. The previous experience –an interview with Cupid- left quite a bit to be desired in the eyes of Cupid. Mention should be made to the rave reviews from my faithful readers. I felt like ‘the man.’ Having said that, we move on another episode with Cupid, and I hope to climb a notch in my ratings.

Cupid arrives rather unsteadily riding a mule teetering to all possible directions. He holds the reins with tightly clenched fists while streams of sweat flow down his brow. Then suddenly Cupid pulls on the reins making the mule to stop abruptly, throwing him off balance, but our ‘spirit’ makes a perfect landing.

I: Pardon me, but why on earth are you riding a mule??

C: Alaaaa.....chill ma!!! (the M’sian angel influence). It’s the global financial crisis, my boy. It’s making me a pauper by the growing day. I’ve come to a stage where I can’t even afford air travel. I had to reduce my staff all over the world, that’s why I had to let Monica Lewinsky -the extra marital affair consultant- leave.

I: Wow, it’s that bad, eh!! I can’t say I blame you.

C: Now, what became of those places you went to visit last time?? Any luck my chap?

I: For one thing, Bangi is just toooooo hot for me. Honestly, I can’t bear the heat coming from that area. It’ll turn me to ashes!!

C: Egad!! Bangi eh?!? Hmmm........I should make a note of it for the future.

I: By the way, did you change your supplier?? I could use some super hi-fi ammo right now.

C: You’re kidding me right?!!? I gave that Chinese dude a piece of my mind, then kicked his little bottom to the moon. Besides that, I’ve been outsourcing all my activities to niche locations, which is costing me a freakin bomb.

I: Mmmmm.......any improvements by doing that?

C: What do you think dum-dum?? Have you made any progress lately, huh? I don’t know where you found this chick, but she’s just ruining my image. Why, just the other day Hitch sent me a text with “so.....you think you’re Cupid?” That one-liner almost made me shoot myself........ metaphorically, of course. I’m too ‘legendary’ to die a suicidal death.

I: Erm.......am I still on course for that scheduled between 28-30 years forecast?

C: Let me see........(takes out his SDA i.e. Spirit Digital Assistant) would you like to......you know, slightly reconsider the time frame?

I: Why?? I think that’s a good range.

C: Apparently all the things you seem to ‘think’ make me look so-not-Cupid. You know......I should refund your fees and be on my way, but my pride keeps me from doing it.

C: Apa laaa bro (again the M’sian influence), couldn’t you like find another poor soul. I’m even going for therapy to figure out if my approach is wrong or not. My BP is spiking to never before levels, and I’m carrying pills to avoid a pending heart attack. Hey.........uhhhhhh........got any tissue???

I: Hey C, calm you nerves man. Here......blow on this; I’ll hold it for you.

(Cupid blows on the tissue like a clogged silencer sputtering smoke)

C: Thanks man, I got to know you are a good listener (Cupid reads my blog too!!!). I’m gonna pull myself together.

C: Anyhow, do you know how this lass looks at the world??

I: I think so.......she sees it in black & white, and with a slight patch of grey too.

C: No kidding!! Make an effort to have more of an audience with her and be a bit proactive for God sake. The way things are going you’d send me to the ‘love’ gallows. Absolute tragedy!!!

C: Well, this has been downright depressing knowing we haven’t made any progress. I hope Aphrodite won’t bring me down in the ratings. If I fall lower than Hitch it’s all because of you mister.

I: Dude, enough with the accusations.......you’re killin me!!! I give you my un-quivering support.

C: Alrighty, let’s see how things go ok. Come on then, help me up this blasted mule because my legs are still numb. Next time, I’m hiring Aladdin’s carpet, at least that won’t hurt my bum.

After getting on the mule Cupid rummages through a sack and extends a lollipop.

C: Sorry old boy, ran out of banana’s so suck on this and think of something sweet. Can you believe Snow White has a huge crush on Pinocchio?? The poor soul can’t deny the truth because of his nose; a classic scenario ya?!? I shall be back (imitating Arnold Schwadzenegzr's accent in Terminator)

With that rhetoric Cupid gallops away, which left me thinking how successful Cupid will be in escaping the heart attack. It’s official........ the world is going to lose Cupid to cardiac arrest.

The other side of Venus

I’ve always wanted to write about residents living in Venus. It’s mostly because of how intriguing they are as a race, or species. When I come to think about it, there have been many instances, which have made me come closer to Venus’s gravitational pull. On a personal basis, there have not been many instances because I have not had a prolonged relationship with a Venusian. The only Venusian I have known for a considerable time would be my mother; now, that’s one person who will dish out info on a need to know basis. The negative side being one cannot ask your mother all the questions. I have also complemented on my listening skills a few times as well.

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ''What does a woman want?” - Sigmund Freud

Along the way, there have been many occasions where I have had lengthy conversations with those from Venus. One thing I have noticed is that the approach to every situation is always different. Of course, when considering Martians, they tend to follow an ‘almost’ similar thought process. The kind of conversation I’ve had –even though they are a handful- was the no holds barred. I got to ask any question, and knew of an honest reply would come from the other end. When you get such an opportunity one seldom misses out.

In a recent dialogue with a cousin –divorced with two children- she gave me an insight to what went wrong. I tried my best to not cross the line, but in matters such as this asking a barrage of questions cannot be helped. What I liked most is that she was open in her views and didn’t hold back on anything. It was also a factor in tempting me to ask more questions. From what I gathered, she felt hollow in her marriage; the love given by her was not being reciprocated to an equal level. As she narrated certain events of the past I tired to put myself in her shoes. I tried to feel how it would be like, but in all honesty I may have not even come close. She said I’m matured in my way of looking at Venusians, taking into account of my description of Ms. X. I take it she was quite impressed at my mention of what attracted me to Ms. X at first- her personality. In her perspective Martians always tend to give priority to physical attributes more; a correct observation in majority scenarios.

Marriage counselling according to my cousin is essential for any couple before marriage. Apparently, it’s done to see how well both people ‘fit’ or ‘gel’ together. Once two people have said their “I dos” there is no turning back. In spite of trying several times to work things out separation was imminent. I also learnt that whatever words that are uttered from ones mouth, they should come from the heart. Saying and doing should go hand in hand. At times, words can become a cure to women, thus easing notions of insecurity or uncertainty. Listening is also a very valued trait to the people of Venus. Then there comes the ‘actions speak louder than words’ scenario where you have to make them know that you’re there for them; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I’ve heard almost everything under the sun, and it is very interesting. People in my eyes are a constant source of knowledge in their outlook, behaviour, actions, judgement, perception, thought process, and the list is endless. All of my encounters would be difficult to mention since there are many. Learning from people is one of my core objectives in life. It just fascinates me. I used to try different types of motivation methods with my junior schoolmates while handling projects. One thing I realised was that, the exact type of motivation may be successful in getting the job done, but won’t last long. Also it will not affect two individuals in an equal manner, thus producing varying results depending on how each person values that specific type of reward. No two people are the same, and neither should be the means used to motivate them.

Maybe that why I’m so keen on pursuing HRM?? The idea of learning attributes associated with human behaviour skyrockets my enthusiasm to exponential levels. At the latter part of my school career I became aware of my ability in managing people and harnessing their best output. Now, back to lovely Venus!!!

I wonder how it would be like to understand a Venusian. Get to know all her likes and dislikes, strengths and fears, dreams and hopes, expectations and reciprocations, and so much more. Diving into a Venusians’ personality pool certainly must be an exhilarating and not to mention an adventurous exercise. Undoubtedly, the entire process is indeed challenging as compared to the Martians, considered primitive in comparison. In my case, that’s the beauty of it all, and the sole reason Martians chase after Venusians. Although, harping on the fact how complex they are is an excuse for not infusing effort to understand them better. Looking through lenses of reality my turn to indulge in the Venusian ‘experience’ would not be for sometime. But I’m fortunate enough to have helped out a few Venusians regarding the Martian perspective, and in turn soak up a considerable portion of info.

When talking about the ‘other side of Venus’, it deals with the demeanour and mentality of some Venusians –a minority in the planet- that cannot be comprehended even by the majority. I would not say anymore regarding this due to certain reservations.