Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or Bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
~Shakespeare~
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or Bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
~Shakespeare~
Last week I got to know that a friend of mine had called off his engagement, which was not shock by all his facebook updates I've been seeing. Prior to this news I met him at a funeral, and casually asked if he was ok to which he nodded his head. When a good friend of mine (lets call him D) confirmed the news the only thing that came to my mind was- thank God I'm single. As selfish and insensitive as it may sound, I couldn't think of having to deal with such a state, pick yourself up from it, and start over. That.... no doubt is a shitty deal!!
Don't get me wrong because I'm not against relationships, rather I'm for it, but with incidents such as these you tend to be wary of the pitfalls as well. Take me, the staunch 'relationship' supporter and counsellor of my mates, who encourages them to go for it. I've been there for MB during his difficult times, and made sure he got over the hurt and anger, not to mention the deception. Then I've lent my ear to many, listening to their issues and giving my honest opinion. Last week a friend (lets call him H) got into a relationship, and soon after it was sealed he told me the news. I was happy for him, as I'm always when any of my mates get hitched. Then he told me how this girl is everything he wanted and didn't want to lose her, that too, knowing he would have go abroad next year. I asked him if he thought she was worth all the effort and sacrifice to which he agreed. Then I said if that's the case, give it everything you've got since you've got nothing to lose.
By analysing my behaviour -a trait which I'm really good at- I've realised I ooze of optimism concerning my friends and their relationships, but not of mine. I give others motivational speeches while I'm easily pacified in my pursuits. It's not because I lack the courage or confidence, rather I factor in too many variables which impedes my goal. All that has never put me down in the dumps; I took it all good stead never whining, or cursing things I thought may have had a hand in my misfortunes. At times, the way I think even puzzles me- not kidding!! I seem to have created a whole new being, another behavioural pattern as a man who is risk averse to these issues. Applying the economic theory of 'high risk- high return' will not make things better. Or will it?!!?
Start of this year D and I met for a chat after ages because most of the time I had been abroad. D, being a Christian eats pork, but apart from it I swear to God he would be a better Muslim in comparison to some I know. We -D and I- are tuned to the same wavelength, so is MB though D and MB have never met. I've known D for a long time, him being a school mate, we have a lot in common; one of it, is the gentleman code. We devised it ourselves thinking to set a standard for our conduct in this mad and lawless relationship jungle. The calibre of it is so high that its assured we would never go astray. Some points in the code:
As the saying goes 'good guys finish last', so far it seems to be true. Even a girl tagged me on a post she published on facebook by the same title. I have no doubt that it shows, and very clearly too. For the moment I'm satisfied by comments from ladies' like "you're sweet", or "such a sweetheart" which gives a psychological smile.
Don't get me wrong because I'm not against relationships, rather I'm for it, but with incidents such as these you tend to be wary of the pitfalls as well. Take me, the staunch 'relationship' supporter and counsellor of my mates, who encourages them to go for it. I've been there for MB during his difficult times, and made sure he got over the hurt and anger, not to mention the deception. Then I've lent my ear to many, listening to their issues and giving my honest opinion. Last week a friend (lets call him H) got into a relationship, and soon after it was sealed he told me the news. I was happy for him, as I'm always when any of my mates get hitched. Then he told me how this girl is everything he wanted and didn't want to lose her, that too, knowing he would have go abroad next year. I asked him if he thought she was worth all the effort and sacrifice to which he agreed. Then I said if that's the case, give it everything you've got since you've got nothing to lose.
By analysing my behaviour -a trait which I'm really good at- I've realised I ooze of optimism concerning my friends and their relationships, but not of mine. I give others motivational speeches while I'm easily pacified in my pursuits. It's not because I lack the courage or confidence, rather I factor in too many variables which impedes my goal. All that has never put me down in the dumps; I took it all good stead never whining, or cursing things I thought may have had a hand in my misfortunes. At times, the way I think even puzzles me- not kidding!! I seem to have created a whole new being, another behavioural pattern as a man who is risk averse to these issues. Applying the economic theory of 'high risk- high return' will not make things better. Or will it?!!?
Start of this year D and I met for a chat after ages because most of the time I had been abroad. D, being a Christian eats pork, but apart from it I swear to God he would be a better Muslim in comparison to some I know. We -D and I- are tuned to the same wavelength, so is MB though D and MB have never met. I've known D for a long time, him being a school mate, we have a lot in common; one of it, is the gentleman code. We devised it ourselves thinking to set a standard for our conduct in this mad and lawless relationship jungle. The calibre of it is so high that its assured we would never go astray. Some points in the code:
- Never take another's lady at whatever the cost because its not honourable.
- If the lady is already in a relationship, you shall not profess of your feelings to her; its not ethical (it means we'll not be doing a movie skit to get a girl).
- If the lady is single, meaning unattached.. go for it. (D extends it to ex'es of other guys who he knows, and I kinda agree. Who wants to be compared?)
- Treat ladies' with respect, but let them not take it for granted or exploit the courtesy.
- No adultery, or anything unlawful decreed by divine law.
As the saying goes 'good guys finish last', so far it seems to be true. Even a girl tagged me on a post she published on facebook by the same title. I have no doubt that it shows, and very clearly too. For the moment I'm satisfied by comments from ladies' like "you're sweet", or "such a sweetheart" which gives a psychological smile.
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