Absence makes the heart grow fonder

A perfect Sunday, to me, would be one where I wake up late and hardly do anything productive. To me, that is absolutely gorgeous and beyond compare. Since last Friday, I have not switched on my light in the evenings until and go sleep. I have this weird habit of liking the darkness, the reasons to which cannot be exactly explained. Maybe I like it because darkness can enshroud, envelop, and swallow elements keeping them hidden for sometime. I like to stay hidden in a way, just to get things in to focus or perspective. But I’m not in total darkness, the lights in all the other compartments are on; I aint that hollow. It was intriguing to watch the night sky during lightening, light occasionally streaking through the sky lasting a split second. It reminded me of a phase that is about to end in a little while. The sky being my life, while the lightening representing a handful of memorable/worthwhile times. It’s fair to say that I underwent a metamorphosis in terms of ‘living’ my life.

Another thing that got me brain thinking was the line ‘time of our lives.’ It crept into my head via a text by Ms. Angel in her response to my bitterness in keeping with academic commitments. Then I got to thinking if one can actually measure satisfaction gained within a certain period of time. Of course, doing an objective analysis would be impossible. On the other hand, what if it’s possible to develop a subjective yardstick of measurement? I mean, comparing an individual -who most people agree as having had an awesome campus phase- with another person. It just might help people gauge roughly where they stand. I’m in a dilemma whether to declare this as ‘the time of my life?’ Definitely, my school life turned out great, and when I reminisce the bygone day’s goosebumps appear on my skin. My God, those were marvellous times!! This transition phase that I embarked on four years prior has a few sour patches, which kind of rains on my I-had-a-good-campus-life parade. Simply said, the transition was necessary in order to rejuvenate my flagging performance relating to academia. Rising to set expectations was to be taken seriously henceforth.

Returning to my topic, an interest towards a certain element will only linger on as association with it is increased. The ‘element’ referred to here is none other than the lady to whom I’m attracted to. Being of the observant type, I have analysed my approach towards this scenario. The conclusion would be the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ is all a big fat lie. Absence makes people drift apart creating a vacuum, which is difficult to be substituted. Its one reason where long distance relationships don’t last long (I thought of being slightly optimistic when wording this sentence). I feel myself being detached from the earlier spirit that surged through me. I could have outlasted an energizer battery. I swear!! Now the curve in my, I’m-smitten-by-her chart is diminishing, but still in a positive standing. In the midst of this one should just ride it out the wave- come what may. Being a realist is very helpful in dealing with these types of situations; you see black from white sans not creating a grey area.

I know not from what distant time

thou art ever coming nearer to meet me.

The sun and stars can never keep thee hidden from me for aye

Distant Time by Rabindranath Tagore

In hindsight, I’m not going let the sun go down on me. I refuse to feel down in the dumps about it. What will be, will be. If it’s not meant to be, then I wouldn’t want to wrack my brains trying to figure out why it’s so; there lies a power beyond our comprehension.