Never mess with the Mafia

Last Friday, in my memory would be a day where I really woke up to understand the 'real' expectations of being in ones final year. The setting- international management mid term, which in most people's minds is done by a dreaded soul. Her record cannot be equalled by another any given day; very sure about that one. The first day in class she uses it to make the students realise her expectations by saying "If you're not in level 4 just go and drop my subject because you cannot survive."

Throughout the semester I've been hearing things like:

"I'm the mafia, don't mess with me...."

"If you got low marks for your quiz don't expect it to get any easier. You rise up to my standards, and I'm not coming down at all."

"Do you people understand at all what I'm saying!!!"

"Don't forget this a level 4 elective course.....deal with it."

She is a woman who is beyond remarkable, as I would say. She uses scare tactics in the most unusual way I've ever seem before. Apart from hearing all the above, there is another major plus point in her class- she makes you think. I mean sure its not like we don't think in other classes, but this is more critical and analytical. Questions she throws at you are like rockets being fired from a multi-barrel rocket launcher. They hit you so fast one after the other that words get choked inside your mouth. But I must say, I love the challenge. There is nothing like being up against such odds and in the end overcoming them.

The mid term hardly asked us to recall any of the theory we had learnt. Instead, the entire paper focused more on how we had understood the course; every single essay question was like it. She tested our comprehension about world culture; that itself will send a person reeling into another dimension. Essay questions required through analyses of various global business phenomena, but the best was yet to come. She wanted us to give our interpretations about the scenario.......and yes like always, give a viable solutions. There were business extracts from Egypt, Darfur, Japan and a hell of a lot more. We would have covered half the world in a matter of 2 hours- the time allocated for the paper. The after effects of the paper were not so welcome; answers would not be the same, and it all meant how convincing your argument would be.

I tired to laugh off the depressed state by watching 'Everybody Loves Raymond' and 'How I met your mother', but that was short lived. So what do you do?? I turned to some rock music and cranked up the volume. Aerosmith, Creed, Guns n Roses helped a great deal, and not to mention doing a head-bang. Yep.......it smoothed things out for sure.

The next episode

It has been quite sometime since Cupid and I had a little chat. The previous experience –an interview with Cupid- left quite a bit to be desired in the eyes of Cupid. Mention should be made to the rave reviews from my faithful readers. I felt like ‘the man.’ Having said that, we move on another episode with Cupid, and I hope to climb a notch in my ratings.

Cupid arrives rather unsteadily riding a mule teetering to all possible directions. He holds the reins with tightly clenched fists while streams of sweat flow down his brow. Then suddenly Cupid pulls on the reins making the mule to stop abruptly, throwing him off balance, but our ‘spirit’ makes a perfect landing.

I: Pardon me, but why on earth are you riding a mule??

C: Alaaaa.....chill ma!!! (the M’sian angel influence). It’s the global financial crisis, my boy. It’s making me a pauper by the growing day. I’ve come to a stage where I can’t even afford air travel. I had to reduce my staff all over the world, that’s why I had to let Monica Lewinsky -the extra marital affair consultant- leave.

I: Wow, it’s that bad, eh!! I can’t say I blame you.

C: Now, what became of those places you went to visit last time?? Any luck my chap?

I: For one thing, Bangi is just toooooo hot for me. Honestly, I can’t bear the heat coming from that area. It’ll turn me to ashes!!

C: Egad!! Bangi eh?!? Hmmm........I should make a note of it for the future.

I: By the way, did you change your supplier?? I could use some super hi-fi ammo right now.

C: You’re kidding me right?!!? I gave that Chinese dude a piece of my mind, then kicked his little bottom to the moon. Besides that, I’ve been outsourcing all my activities to niche locations, which is costing me a freakin bomb.

I: Mmmmm.......any improvements by doing that?

C: What do you think dum-dum?? Have you made any progress lately, huh? I don’t know where you found this chick, but she’s just ruining my image. Why, just the other day Hitch sent me a text with “so.....you think you’re Cupid?” That one-liner almost made me shoot myself........ metaphorically, of course. I’m too ‘legendary’ to die a suicidal death.

I: Erm.......am I still on course for that scheduled between 28-30 years forecast?

C: Let me see........(takes out his SDA i.e. Spirit Digital Assistant) would you like to......you know, slightly reconsider the time frame?

I: Why?? I think that’s a good range.

C: Apparently all the things you seem to ‘think’ make me look so-not-Cupid. You know......I should refund your fees and be on my way, but my pride keeps me from doing it.

C: Apa laaa bro (again the M’sian influence), couldn’t you like find another poor soul. I’m even going for therapy to figure out if my approach is wrong or not. My BP is spiking to never before levels, and I’m carrying pills to avoid a pending heart attack. Hey.........uhhhhhh........got any tissue???

I: Hey C, calm you nerves man. Here......blow on this; I’ll hold it for you.

(Cupid blows on the tissue like a clogged silencer sputtering smoke)

C: Thanks man, I got to know you are a good listener (Cupid reads my blog too!!!). I’m gonna pull myself together.

C: Anyhow, do you know how this lass looks at the world??

I: I think so.......she sees it in black & white, and with a slight patch of grey too.

C: No kidding!! Make an effort to have more of an audience with her and be a bit proactive for God sake. The way things are going you’d send me to the ‘love’ gallows. Absolute tragedy!!!

C: Well, this has been downright depressing knowing we haven’t made any progress. I hope Aphrodite won’t bring me down in the ratings. If I fall lower than Hitch it’s all because of you mister.

I: Dude, enough with the accusations.......you’re killin me!!! I give you my un-quivering support.

C: Alrighty, let’s see how things go ok. Come on then, help me up this blasted mule because my legs are still numb. Next time, I’m hiring Aladdin’s carpet, at least that won’t hurt my bum.

After getting on the mule Cupid rummages through a sack and extends a lollipop.

C: Sorry old boy, ran out of banana’s so suck on this and think of something sweet. Can you believe Snow White has a huge crush on Pinocchio?? The poor soul can’t deny the truth because of his nose; a classic scenario ya?!? I shall be back (imitating Arnold Schwadzenegzr's accent in Terminator)

With that rhetoric Cupid gallops away, which left me thinking how successful Cupid will be in escaping the heart attack. It’s official........ the world is going to lose Cupid to cardiac arrest.

The other side of Venus

I’ve always wanted to write about residents living in Venus. It’s mostly because of how intriguing they are as a race, or species. When I come to think about it, there have been many instances, which have made me come closer to Venus’s gravitational pull. On a personal basis, there have not been many instances because I have not had a prolonged relationship with a Venusian. The only Venusian I have known for a considerable time would be my mother; now, that’s one person who will dish out info on a need to know basis. The negative side being one cannot ask your mother all the questions. I have also complemented on my listening skills a few times as well.

The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ''What does a woman want?” - Sigmund Freud

Along the way, there have been many occasions where I have had lengthy conversations with those from Venus. One thing I have noticed is that the approach to every situation is always different. Of course, when considering Martians, they tend to follow an ‘almost’ similar thought process. The kind of conversation I’ve had –even though they are a handful- was the no holds barred. I got to ask any question, and knew of an honest reply would come from the other end. When you get such an opportunity one seldom misses out.

In a recent dialogue with a cousin –divorced with two children- she gave me an insight to what went wrong. I tried my best to not cross the line, but in matters such as this asking a barrage of questions cannot be helped. What I liked most is that she was open in her views and didn’t hold back on anything. It was also a factor in tempting me to ask more questions. From what I gathered, she felt hollow in her marriage; the love given by her was not being reciprocated to an equal level. As she narrated certain events of the past I tired to put myself in her shoes. I tried to feel how it would be like, but in all honesty I may have not even come close. She said I’m matured in my way of looking at Venusians, taking into account of my description of Ms. X. I take it she was quite impressed at my mention of what attracted me to Ms. X at first- her personality. In her perspective Martians always tend to give priority to physical attributes more; a correct observation in majority scenarios.

Marriage counselling according to my cousin is essential for any couple before marriage. Apparently, it’s done to see how well both people ‘fit’ or ‘gel’ together. Once two people have said their “I dos” there is no turning back. In spite of trying several times to work things out separation was imminent. I also learnt that whatever words that are uttered from ones mouth, they should come from the heart. Saying and doing should go hand in hand. At times, words can become a cure to women, thus easing notions of insecurity or uncertainty. Listening is also a very valued trait to the people of Venus. Then there comes the ‘actions speak louder than words’ scenario where you have to make them know that you’re there for them; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

I’ve heard almost everything under the sun, and it is very interesting. People in my eyes are a constant source of knowledge in their outlook, behaviour, actions, judgement, perception, thought process, and the list is endless. All of my encounters would be difficult to mention since there are many. Learning from people is one of my core objectives in life. It just fascinates me. I used to try different types of motivation methods with my junior schoolmates while handling projects. One thing I realised was that, the exact type of motivation may be successful in getting the job done, but won’t last long. Also it will not affect two individuals in an equal manner, thus producing varying results depending on how each person values that specific type of reward. No two people are the same, and neither should be the means used to motivate them.

Maybe that why I’m so keen on pursuing HRM?? The idea of learning attributes associated with human behaviour skyrockets my enthusiasm to exponential levels. At the latter part of my school career I became aware of my ability in managing people and harnessing their best output. Now, back to lovely Venus!!!

I wonder how it would be like to understand a Venusian. Get to know all her likes and dislikes, strengths and fears, dreams and hopes, expectations and reciprocations, and so much more. Diving into a Venusians’ personality pool certainly must be an exhilarating and not to mention an adventurous exercise. Undoubtedly, the entire process is indeed challenging as compared to the Martians, considered primitive in comparison. In my case, that’s the beauty of it all, and the sole reason Martians chase after Venusians. Although, harping on the fact how complex they are is an excuse for not infusing effort to understand them better. Looking through lenses of reality my turn to indulge in the Venusian ‘experience’ would not be for sometime. But I’m fortunate enough to have helped out a few Venusians regarding the Martian perspective, and in turn soak up a considerable portion of info.

When talking about the ‘other side of Venus’, it deals with the demeanour and mentality of some Venusians –a minority in the planet- that cannot be comprehended even by the majority. I would not say anymore regarding this due to certain reservations.