As I woke up this morning something didn't feel right. My thoughts were all jumbled up and scattered; it took awhile to figure out what I should do next after waking up. Last night I ran after someone. That "someone" kept getting further away everytime I came closer and closer. Utterly frustrating as it sounds, the entire episode was played out in a subconscious state. It was one of those bouts where you are pulled into it a 100 percent with no room to escape. On the other hand, the entire incident to an extent was real. I hated to admit it, but somethings I just couldn't let go, and neither chuck it away to some cornet of my heart hoping it will gradually decompose. Honestly, it has never been this hard before; question is why now?!!?
I'm nearing the final corner of my marathon; a marathon that taught me many things about life, changed my perspectives, broadened my thinking, and reformed my soul to an extent. It was one of God's small mercies bestowed upon me, and hope I carried out my duty to the full.
Although, I advocate rational thinking and actions, there are times I wish they didn't exist. Fostering and nurturing my rational ideology has come at the cost of ignoring my feelings, or better yet, my heart!! I feel now that I should have said the things which I wanted to in the past. My cardiac pressure chamber has compressed a Himalaya of feelings without letting it all out; I cant afford to compress anymore. In the end people are subjected to circumstance and so many other factors that go along with it. What a bitch!!! I only want to say what I want and be done with it, but that's easier said than done.
Everything is coming into place: on Wednesday my programme at the NGO will finish, and Thursday will be my final day in office. I'm not sentimental about leaving the NGO, rather relieved. I've sent all my books and other stuff by cargo last week. Now its just to hop into the plan and wait for the take, and let's not forget the landing.
But I still can't forget that "someone" from my head..........
I'm nearing the final corner of my marathon; a marathon that taught me many things about life, changed my perspectives, broadened my thinking, and reformed my soul to an extent. It was one of God's small mercies bestowed upon me, and hope I carried out my duty to the full.
Although, I advocate rational thinking and actions, there are times I wish they didn't exist. Fostering and nurturing my rational ideology has come at the cost of ignoring my feelings, or better yet, my heart!! I feel now that I should have said the things which I wanted to in the past. My cardiac pressure chamber has compressed a Himalaya of feelings without letting it all out; I cant afford to compress anymore. In the end people are subjected to circumstance and so many other factors that go along with it. What a bitch!!! I only want to say what I want and be done with it, but that's easier said than done.
Everything is coming into place: on Wednesday my programme at the NGO will finish, and Thursday will be my final day in office. I'm not sentimental about leaving the NGO, rather relieved. I've sent all my books and other stuff by cargo last week. Now its just to hop into the plan and wait for the take, and let's not forget the landing.
But I still can't forget that "someone" from my head..........
No comments:
Post a Comment