It has been ages since I last posted an entry on my blog. I’m quite sure that it’s full of digital cobwebs and soot accumulating a few weeks. The past few weeks were really hectic and took lot of strength to pull through. Physical and mental strain was intertwined like a vine wrapped around a tree. But this semester was the final mile; there would not be another like it. I made up my mind from the start to give it all I had. To my elation many aspects regarding academia went my way, which was a blessing. Of course, there were a few dry spells, but overall my final semester was satisfactory. Even Arabic went well in the end.
Once when bapa called asking how the prep was going for finals, I said only one thing- “I’m firing on all cylinders.” In my head I wanted to achieve the best results this semester. Every possible minute detail told me that I was on the right track. A lot of things felt calmer than usual, and there was an air of confidence that never existed. It was like standing alone in an open plain with sunlight warming your skin, and the wind cooling it simultaneously. There was a sense of balance I never felt before. Now, all that remains is the exam results to know for sure if all the effort was worth it.
As for being a graduate, there is hardly an altered set of emotions one feels. I remember walking out of the exam hall on 12th April with the same amount of emotion as all my past exams. The only fact that I knew beyond a shadow of doubt was that, I would not be sitting for another final exam. It didn’t make a colossal difference at the time. There was so sudden rush of euphoria that caused an emotional outburst, nor was there sounds of a choir chanting 'halleluiah'. The more I say to people of my current status, the more pressure builds up within thinking of my impending future. So, I’ve decided to stick around in M’sia and search for employment due my motherland going down the economic precipice. It is very much in a bog that would not be solved for quite some time. The other thing is I would have be reverse my style of living all over again if I go to the motherland- more about that some other time.
Since I have finished my exams, I have not been doing anything that is productive. I must say that it feels really great!! I mean, who would want to do anything remotely related to anything that is productive. It’s been a very consistent line of drama series’, movies, documentaries etc; not to mention ample time for sleeping. It feels good in the short run, but will definitely not do in the time to come. Like they say- ‘an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’
I accidentally bumped into Ms. X on the way to the immigration office in uni yesterday. For all those curious folk, I only meet Ms. X by accident- period. Unless of course, there is a gathering in which she is to attend, but has not happened in ages. I have realised early on of my ability to block or phase of certain situations of my life whenever needed. But the downside of it is that when I remember whatever that I’ve phased out it’s hard to forget it. I shouldn’t be saying this, but what the hell; it’s not like I’ve got anything to lose, or do I?? Seeing her in a track suit made me chuckle a fair deal and I would use one word to describe it- sporty and cute. So, I used two words- sue me!! After that unexpected encounter I let myself drift into dreamland where seldom anything ‘real’ happens. I fear that this bit of info is too much as it. The last thing I want is a barrage of questions directed towards me from various parties. That will no doubt leave me in the ‘hot’ seat.
No comments:
Post a Comment