I have heard people saying some of the best things in life are free!! But you start to wonder what people consider as 'the best things in life'. I still can't put a finger on it, maybe I never will. To me, it hardly matters either. Objectively speaking I wish they never said such things. Because then you might try to not exert extra effort to actually procure what is best, wouldn't it?
At present, what I consider as 'best' is free- rain and darkness. It hardly costs me a cent. My fond fascination towards the dark is an acquired one after going abroad to study. I would switch off the lights in my cubicle and stare at the ceiling or out the window, for how long I knew not. I used that time to ponder, reflect and self-evaluate my thoughts and feelings towards all that concerned me. This exercise kept me out of harms way right throughout. I'm proud of it. I understood what lied within my control, and what not; majority of it was not in my control.
All that while I constantly kept thinking about one thing. When will things get better? Like all rational humans, who think of progressing in their standard of life, I was one of them.
I like the dark because it has no pretenses; its not a shape shifter, nor is it artificial. What you see is what you get!! Why can't the world and people be like this?
Last night as I thought in the dark my gaze ascended towards the ceiling fan, its blades spinning in tandem, and with my imagination there appeared a vapour screen. Have I told you of my excellent visualisation skills? Well, now you know. I have this weird yet satisfying ability to re-live the past inside my mind. I remember many things vividly which means recalling it is quite fast. I have gone back to school, uni, hostel and anywhere else by merely closing my eyes. Coming back to the vapour screen, I saw flashes of the past like in still-images that moved with the fan blades; never the same image twice. I wish there was an 'edit' button for many fell into that category, but now there's no point.
Dealing with the notion of being inadequate is very tough. You keep asking yourself over and over again the question- why me?!? If there be a way to rip it out and discard it in a dump, I'd gladly do it, but feelings had to be intangible!! Damn it.
At present, what I consider as 'best' is free- rain and darkness. It hardly costs me a cent. My fond fascination towards the dark is an acquired one after going abroad to study. I would switch off the lights in my cubicle and stare at the ceiling or out the window, for how long I knew not. I used that time to ponder, reflect and self-evaluate my thoughts and feelings towards all that concerned me. This exercise kept me out of harms way right throughout. I'm proud of it. I understood what lied within my control, and what not; majority of it was not in my control.
All that while I constantly kept thinking about one thing. When will things get better? Like all rational humans, who think of progressing in their standard of life, I was one of them.
I like the dark because it has no pretenses; its not a shape shifter, nor is it artificial. What you see is what you get!! Why can't the world and people be like this?
Last night as I thought in the dark my gaze ascended towards the ceiling fan, its blades spinning in tandem, and with my imagination there appeared a vapour screen. Have I told you of my excellent visualisation skills? Well, now you know. I have this weird yet satisfying ability to re-live the past inside my mind. I remember many things vividly which means recalling it is quite fast. I have gone back to school, uni, hostel and anywhere else by merely closing my eyes. Coming back to the vapour screen, I saw flashes of the past like in still-images that moved with the fan blades; never the same image twice. I wish there was an 'edit' button for many fell into that category, but now there's no point.
Dealing with the notion of being inadequate is very tough. You keep asking yourself over and over again the question- why me?!? If there be a way to rip it out and discard it in a dump, I'd gladly do it, but feelings had to be intangible!! Damn it.
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