An interview with Cupid

It seems like everyone has been made to divulge sensitive info thanks to Miss. Angel. I have no clue as to why I’m doing this, but studying constantly makes me bored at present. This is one of the ways that I find to unwind. Let’s divert from the common format and make it tad bit more exciting. I will do my own version of Miss. Angel’s wedding tag. Before I start, do not that Mr. Cupid (‘C’ henceforth) is the interviewer. This should be fun at my expense. So, here goes.

C: How old are you?

I: Well, 23 years old.

C: Are you single?

I: Dude, you know the answer to that one, right?

C: Yes... yes. Just checking so let me jot it down. There.... you are ‘hopelessly’ single.

I: Why did you say ‘hopelessly?’

C: My boy, you are just not hitting the right notes at the right time. Plus you’re cramping my style too!!! Try to up the ante.

C: What age do you think you will get married?

I: Erm.... is it possible between 28 and 30?? Later than 30 would be a bloody tragedy.

C: well it certainly would be a disaster. Let me see ... I think we could squeeze you in, if you think you can find a lass by then?

I: So, you reckon I can’t??

C: The way you’re going fat chance, buddy boy! And I shit you not. I have to ask my lady friends how to deal with you. It’s bad for my image, you know.

C: Are you into anyone now by any chance?

I: Oh yes!! I think she’s a lovely gal, and I didn’t expect it to happen. It was just a....

(Cupid suddenly interrupts)

C: Oh for God sake man stop whining. It’s my job you’re talking about. It’s what I do best you see. But do tell about the progress??

I: It’s like a river flowing to the sea, or like one way traffic on a busy highway and the signal lights are seriously not functioning.

C: Ahh... that bad eh?!!? I did try to help, but I don’t think my arrows are carrying enough dosage to deliver a potent punch. I should change my cheap Chinese supplier.

I: Are you telling me that you’re shooting blanks? How can you deceive me like this?

C: Heavens no, my chap. It’s just that she has a very strong armour and not to mention an ‘I-don’t-like-relationship’ force-field. She is a tough cookie no doubt!!

C: Any other options on your mind?

I: Not really because this situation is quite a stomach full. Why do you ask? Any ideas swimming inside your head?

C: I got news from the grapevine that Bangi is rocking this time of year. If you get a chance don’t forget Damansara, Ampang, and the many shopping malls ok!! I try to localise my services as much as possible since Mr. Hitch is getting tech-savvy.

C: Now for the wedding details... how’s it going to go down??

I: Oh BITE ME, will you!! I’ll let the woman handle it. That’s fine, isn’t it?

C: Perfect answer, spoken like a true man. I have to ask this question since it’s in the questionnaire you see. I follow ISO 9001 standards and they audit me quite strictly.

I: So, what happens now? Any more questions?

C: that’s it for now laa! I’ve got another appointment to take care of now. Another time perhaps?

I: Wow! Your using the ‘lah’ already. How come maestro and who is your client?

C: The ‘lah’ is because of this new angel chick I started dating from Malaysia. You forget my boy that I’m global in outlook . Madonna has been behind my back after her breakup for therapy, so got to handle that.

Cupid gets ready to go and flaps his wings and then retorts looking back “I really should go for my wing-and-feather treatments more often!!” Then he comes close to me and gives a word of advice “Now cheer up boy, take it like a man. And here.... have a banana. It’s good for instant energy, seriously. Until next time hang in there.”

Ahhhh...... there we are, all done. Now you know the guy perspective. It’s a step by step thing, which is very wobbly, quite unpredictable, and not inclusive of contingency plans. Stay tuned for the next episode.